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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23230099">Eating up the distance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrBlueneck/pseuds/DrBlueneck'>DrBlueneck</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To you, 2000 Years From Now [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Female Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Gen, Gender-Neutral Hange Zoë, POV Second Person, everybody needs a hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:21:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23230099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrBlueneck/pseuds/DrBlueneck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi died, grateful and relieved to leave that goddamned, awful world behind. Of this, Olivia was certain.<br/>Well, until Hange came along, that is.</p>
<p>(This is the story of how a woman learns to live with the ghost of a past life, and how to get that freaky little kid off her back.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hange Zoë &amp; Levi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To you, 2000 Years From Now [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/774321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Eating up the distance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was written in September 2017, I completely forgot about it until I went through my files today. So... here it is!<br/>Also: Hange is written Hanji here. Deal with it. I didn't feel like going through the story just to change that, sorry.<br/>This is not beta-read and English is not my first language, so please, have mercy on me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>You can’t get rid of me, that’s what friends are for.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi died, grateful and relieved to leave that goddamned, awful world behind. Of this, you were certain. His ghost (that’s how you decided to call it, too uncomfortable at the idea of reincarnation) didn’t really haunt you, lingering at the far back of your mind and never truly manifesting apart from some quirks – how you like your tea best, how you can’t let things go dirty for too long. All in all, you consider yourself lucky that your mind was still your own, as well as your body and soul.</p>
<p>You knew early on that the horrific dreams you had in your childhood were not just the fruit of an overworking imagination – the blood felt too real on your hands, and the fear and guilt rising in your belly left a sour taste in your mouth. Sometimes, it felt like that old soul locked deep inside you would reach out to soothe you – encompassing you like a heavy, warm blanket, chasing the monsters away more effectively than your dad ever did.</p>
<p>Understanding that you were once a man was weird, but you got over it pretty quickly. Levi was not you, and Olivia was not him. You didn’t share the same life, you didn’t share the same friends, you didn’t share the same parents. Still, you shared some features with him – too stubborn to let anyone dictate your choices, too jaded to bother yourself with decorum or people. You liked being on your own: relationships were just too complicated to navigate. And paradoxically, you hated being lonely, craving human touch and comfort.</p>
<p>You liked to think that you were free despite this weird karma thing – or whatever it was called, it’s not like you did research to better understand what was wrong with your head, and you weren’t too eager to see if you were in fact touched by schizophrenia. You never truly realized how wrong you were. You never realized that the desire to travel had nothing to do with curiosity; that it was Levi who desired to flee – run – <em>fly</em>. That’s why you became a ballerina – jumping high in the air, flying above the ground for a handful of seconds, adrenaline rushing through your veins.</p>
<p>Another thing you never envisaged was for you to not be the only one.</p>
<p>That’s why when this little girl (or at least, that’s what you think the child is, judging by the white denim skirt and light pink shirt they’re wearing) one day ends up waiting for you out of the dance studio, backpack at her feet and hands playing with her shoelaces, you never thought that it would be someone from your past seeking you.</p>
<p>You don’t really pay attention to her, fishing a water bottle out of your backpack, hair still damp from the shower you took.</p>
<p>But she sees you and with a gasp, jumps to her feet, almost stumbling on her bag. You continue to walk, and she cries out, “Levi!”</p>
<p>There’s a falter in your step and you can’t help but look over your shoulder at the girl – she can’t be older than ten – whose wide black eyes stare at you, mouth agape that soon breaks into a smile. She snatches her backpack from the floor and jogs towards you.</p>
<p>“Levi!” she cries again with joy.</p>
<p>And you briskly turn your back on her, your legs stretching farther to walk faster.</p>
<p>“Wait!”</p>
<p>You don’t. Levi’s life is not your life. You refuse to let this strangeness affects your own fate, and it may be too late to feign not hearing the kid, but <em>damn</em> if you will let all that bullshit slow you down in your strides.</p>
<p>A hand latches on your jacket and you have half a mind to slap it away. You’re actually ready to do just so when you catch sight of the girl. Her mouth isn’t smiling anymore, and her eyes are filled with tears and anger.</p>
<p>“You remember,” she accuses in a light accent, “yet, you’re running away.”</p>
<p>“Kid,” you say through clenched teeth, “leave me alone. I’m not who you’re looking for.”</p>
<p>“Yes you are!” she yells, hand gripping your jacket tighter. “You’re <em>Levi!</em> You’re my <em>friend!</em>”</p>
<p>You frown, getting annoyed. “I’m not. My name is—”</p>
<p>“Olivia Ravello, I know. I saw you on TV.” There’s a pause as the kid looks you up and down. “You haven’t changed at all.”</p>
<p>It’s not true. You’re much taller, and your skin is freckled. Your eyes are big and doe-like, though you still have the same angular face as Levi once did and his jet-black hair but the resemblance ends there.</p>
<p>This time, you tug at your jacket and she lets go with a hurt pout. “Listen, I know this whole thing is weird – but you’re young, and when you’re grown up, you’ll understand that all of this doesn’t matter.”</p>
<p>She just stares at you with disappointed eyes, and something heavy settled at the bottom of your stomach. You shrug off the feeling and turn on your heels, ready to put this story behind you.</p>
<p>“Please,” she whimpers, and you stride on, unconsciously lifting your shoulders higher as if to ward off her pleas. “Please…”</p>
<p>A sob reaches your ears.</p>
<p>“You’re the only one! And Moblit is dead… <em>again</em>. I’m all alone. Please, Levi… Levi…”</p>
<p>
  <em>Don’t turn away… Don’t.</em>
</p>
<p>You know who this desire belongs to, and you inwardly curse Levi for choosing this time to finally emerge. Slowly, you turn your head.</p>
<p>The kid is still there, crouched on the ground, face hidden in-between her knees and shoulders shaking. You can still hear her calling out Levi’s name through her sobs, and you feel like the monsters from your memories.</p>
<p>Your feet aren’t your own as you walk down the curb and crouch in front of her. Your hand isn’t your own as you gently put it on her hair, awkwardly petting. Your mouth is not your own as you hush the kid, foreign words from a time long forgotten slipping out your tongue as she clings to you, outright wailing on your tank top.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Hanji. That’s what she calls herself, refusing to let you use her birth name – Janya. She says it’s because Janya is for the rest of the world, and Hanji is for the ones like them. You just shrug off the explanation, not really minding her quirks, though you disapprove.</p>
<p>You don’t think you would have recognized her if she didn’t tell you. Gone are the glasses, her pale skin replaced by a brown hue, and though the hair is as messy as ever, it has a silky quality to it – certainly due to her Indian heritage. It also explains why she wasn’t that disturbed by her past life.</p>
<p>“I was so happy when I saw you on TV,” she gushes, hands squeezing the life out of her burger. “It was two years ago, you know? For that charity-thingy on Christmas. I worked my butt off to be able to afford my trip here!”</p>
<p>“What about your parents? Aren’t they worried to let you travel on your own?” you ask, perplexed.</p>
<p>Hanji shrugs and kicks her legs out. “Don’t have any. And my aunt was relieved to know I’ll be gone – one less mouth to feed, ya know?”</p>
<p>No, Olivia doesn’t know. But Levi did, at one point.</p>
<p>You feel bad for this kid who went through all this trouble to find you, thinking of reconnecting with a lost friend that you were not ready to let out. Levi’s memories were locked tight in the depths of your mind, and you seldom tried to reach them, content to live your own life without the burden of an unwanted past – leeching onto you like a parasite.</p>
<p>And here is that little girl, not old enough to be out on her own, embracing her past without thought and expecting you to do the same. You realize that you’re scared of her – scared of the knowledge shining in her eyes, scared of the strength it takes to look into your own self and acknowledge the horror and insanity that used to lull you to sleep.</p>
<p>You want to run away from all this shit, but your feet are rooted to the floor – and you idly wonder if it’s Levi’s doing before berating yourself for being so foolish. Levi isn’t a spirit who can possess you. Levi isn’t even alive. Levi is just a memory, and can’t force you to do anything.</p>
<p>So maybe it’s really you – Olivia Ravello – who wants to stay and hear more. Learn more. Understand more.</p>
<p>“You have somewhere to stay?” you ask instead, fingers stirring your drink with a straw.</p>
<p>Hanji visibly perks up. “Nope! But it’ll be like the good old days – sleeping under the stars. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past month anyway.”</p>
<p>“How unhealthy,” you mutter with a click of the tongue. “You can crash at mine. It gets lonely on my own.”</p>
<p>She blinks several times, perplexed. “But you hate sharing your space with people.”</p>
<p>Maybe Levi did, but that’s not your case.</p>
<p>“Not really. I like the company, actually.” It keeps the madness away.</p>
<p>There’s a short silence during which Hanji looks at you in a new light, a small smile gracing her lips. She seems more subdued now, and when she speaks, she sounds thousands of years older than the decade she truly is.</p>
<p>“I grew up all my life wondering where all my friends went, and I was truly scared I’d never see any of you again. But then Moblit was born, and—” Hanji has to stop, eyebrows pulling in a tight frown and mouth pinched. There’s a suspicious shine to her eyes, but she soldiers on, voice a bit strangled but clearly articulated. “I’m so glad I finally found you… So you have to understand that I’m here to stay. I’m not going anywhere. I meant it<em> then</em>. I mean it now, too.”</p>
<p>You’re not sure what she’s referring to – surely something to do with what the old Hanji once said to the old Levi – but still, you feel warm inside. She may be a crazy girl, letting the ghost of a past life take the reins of this new one, but at least she’s someone who can understand – someone who can finally help you through your nightmares.</p>
<p>There’s a smirk on your lips when you answer her challenge. “I don’t mind. Do what you want, girl.”</p>
<p>Hanji blinks again, this time to chase the tears away. She hides her face between her hands, taking deep breaths. “Thank you,” she mumbles, peeking at you through her fingers, a shaky grin thrown your way.</p>
<p>She rubs her nose with the back of her hand and wipes her tears away, smiling brightly as she announces, “Oh, and Janya’s a boy, not a girl. And Hanji is just Hanji.”</p>
<p>This prompts a buried memory to resurface – of addressing Hanji with neutral pronouns, of asking crudely what was between their legs. You snort and shake your head.</p>
<p>“Whatever, kid. Let’s get going. The guestroom hasn’t been aired out for ages, and I need to check on my mails to see if my new costume is ready.”</p>
<p>Hanji bounces excitedly on their seat, their skirt riding high on their thighs. Reflexively, you tug it back on place. “You’re working on a new ballet already? Cool! I wanna see you in real life. You were so awesome on TV! And you jump so high—it’s like you’re flying.”</p>
<p>You just smile and offer your hand to the kid. Hanji takes it without hesitation, squeezing your fingers tightly as if afraid you’ll vanish into thin air.</p>
<p>Later, when you’ll reflect on your day as Hanji is sleeping soundly on your own bed, you’ll find out that you’re glad the kid was stubborn enough to follow you.</p>
<p>And, as you turn the lights off, you’ll think that life is sure going to be more eventful than before – surprisingly, you don’t mind it at all.</p>
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